Life editing and self-care

First off, I want to say Happy Mothers day to all the mothers and nurturers who frequent this space. Hope you laugh a lot and be pampered for the queen you are. Now, let’s talk about self-care and life editing. Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare. – Audre Lorde (black feminist) These days I’ve been thinking about the connection between self-care and life-editing. Often, I take a personal inventory of what I need to change, improve, let go. Upon returning from a recent work trip, I felt an incredible sense of urgency to do some editing. I started sharing this with a friend, and it gave rise to me really reflecting on what life-editing means and why it is so important that we all take the time to edit our lives by shedding the things that fail to honor and serve…

View Post

Tending the temple

Every time I travel, I return feeling different. Almost new, almost like I am about to transition or take my life to another stage. Maybe it’s the plane ride, or the chance to step away from my regular cycle that brings it on. I’ve never been able to figure it out. Whatever it is, I am learning to lean in and not resist what follows it. Recently I returned from a work trip with a sense of urgency to edit my life. This trip not only provided me the opportunity to represent a client and support a friend, it also gave me a chance to reconnect with my Trini roots, spend time with one of my dearest friends, and connect with my uncles and cousin. My father’s brothers are strong, opinionated men. They got that from my grandma. They stand back and watch you live your life, but at the opportune…

View Post

Victim blaming and shaming needs to end.

The one thing that bothers me with our new, connected age, is how easily it allows people to hide behind their tiny screens and spew hate, violence and lack of empathy. We are in an age where we are more connected globally, but less so in ways that matter. Less love, less care, less understanding. Recently, I was reading the comments under an article about a woman who opted to let her partner walk free of domestic violences charges. This man had beaten her so badly, that she was confined to a wheelchair, and she did not want him to feel the weight of the law. Her decision caused much controversy, and understandably so. However, I’m not going to be talking about that decision today, because the reality is that this was her decision to make. I don’t know this woman, her life, and why she would make such a call.…

View Post

I am beautiful

I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My hips are beautiful, my lips are perfect, my fingers are just the way He designed them to be. There are no flaws in my construction, my design, my external architecture. I’m just the way I was created to be. I waited 34 years before I could confidently say these things to myself and actually believe them. Body acceptance, total self acceptance evaded me for many years. As a teen I was on the skinny side, very thin, very waif like. As in headed into my twenties, I struggled to accept my body. Everyone thought I had a good size and was well proportioned, looking back I was, but I fixated on the things I could not change. The size of my forehead, the size of my nose or the shape of my face gave me grief for a long time.…

View Post

Objectification and the male gaze

I intended to drevey for the Easter weekend. A flat tyre on Easter Saturday, a busted spare and closed tyre shops threw holes in my wheel (pun intended) and left me grounded. Instead, I spent the long weekend home, writing, journaling, drinking too much coffee and making meaning of the experiences I am about to share. Realizing that there was no way I was going to get the car to move or get a ride home from a friend, I called a taxi driver I know. Maybe that was the error, calling this person when I knew he had the habit of hitting on me at every available occasion. But at the time, I had little choice and I hoped he’d see how stressed and tired I was and keep his feelings to himself. Not too long after I got into the vehicle, he launches into his Mac Daddy mode.   Him: What…

View Post