Managing pressures and stresses of life

The phone is constantly engaged. The internet keeps going down, your appointment got cancelled and you only found out when you got there. Oh, and your bus is late. Why do minor hassles like these have the potential to make us uptight? Maybe it’s because we’re tightly wound already and can’t find the pressure relief valve. Balancing the pressures of home life and work life are vital so that we get optimum amounts of the adrenaline buzz to stay healthy and enjoy the whole life! So here are a few thing to try when the going gets tough: Work out what is actually inside or outside your control. And don’t tell yourself “I cannot deal with this” when you mean “I will not deal with this”. Stop driving yourself with inner messages that say “I must please” or “I must hurry up” or “I must be perfect” or “I must be strong”.… View Post

Reminders to myself

My Inner Being speaks to me often. I enjoy the dialogue always. In my recent quiet time I was reminded of a few things. Things that I need to remember, carry with me, things that bear witness to my soul, my heart, my being. Dearest Carlana, there are a few things I need to remind you. You already know this. But at times you need to remember -: You are creative. You have the ability to create the life and dreams you carry. Even the hidden ones, the ones you tuck away in the deepest recesses of your heart; the ones you’re afraid to dream and dare not acknowledge. My darling, you can create anything you put your mind and hand to, not just because you’re blessed, but because within you is a creative gene, one planted by the Creator at the time of your creation. All it needs is… View Post

Why We Write – Owning the many pieces of our collective story

I have so much to write, but I have no idea where to start. Honestly, I kind of don’t even feel like it. Everything gets jumbled up — the words, the messages, the topics, the wisdom — until it all feels like mashed potatoes in my head before the words even make their way to paper. Where do you start when you have a million unwritten stories inside of you? The beginning makes me scowl, because really, where the hell is that? When you’ve spent so much time marinating in personal growth, not knowing up from down, so much time seeing things primarily in hindsight, it’s hard to know what came first, or second, or tenth. I want to tell you about my divorce and all of the beauty and grace I discovered as I trudged my way through. I want to tell you about how I fell in love with… View Post

Lean in to the discomfort

I’m a big fan of writing to heal and telling our story. I’ve been consistently engaging in this healing-type of writing for the past three years , studying this field for the past year and a half and helping women to lean into the discomfort of penning their stories for almost a year. I don’t ever want to make it seem that by simply putting things on paper, our lives will magically transform. It can transform over time, especially when we engage in the write type of writing and we do so from a place of openness, authenticity and truth, but telling our stories can be hard, even if we are telling them to ourselves.

Bleaching epidemic gone mad?

So in the past week social media went insane when rap icon and game changer, Lil Kim’ showed up looking like a woman from a different ethnicity. Think – of the caucasian persuasion 🙂 Black women and bleaching ain’t anything new, but Kim’s drastic change is what has everyone talking. As someone who grew up in the 90’s when Kim was crushing the rap game, it’s been hard to see what I’ve always seen as a beautiful black woman change so drastically over the years. Kim went from what I thought of as a nice mocha to looking like a white woman. Seriously, check out the CNN video below if you think I’m joking. This one hits hard. Almost makes me wanna cry. Because this extreme sort of transformation opens up so many issues of internalized racism, beauty standards, self hate, lack of self esteem, feelings of being imperfect, not enough and so much more. I… View Post