I have so much to write, but I have no idea where to start.
Honestly, I kind of don’t even feel like it.
Everything gets jumbled up — the words, the messages, the topics, the wisdom — until it all feels like mashed potatoes in my head before the words even make their way to paper.
Where do you start when you have a million unwritten stories inside of you?
The beginning makes me scowl, because really, where the hell is that? When you’ve spent so much time marinating in personal growth, not knowing up from down, so much time seeing things primarily in hindsight, it’s hard to know what came first, or second, or tenth.
I want to tell you about my divorce and all of the beauty and grace I discovered as I trudged my way through. I want to tell you about how I fell in love with myself, bit by bit, and about the beauty of embracing vulnerability.
I want to tell you about meditation, and soul journeys, about the freedom I’ve found through a devotion to helping others, and I want to share some of the tremendous a-ha moments I’ve had. I feel like I’m bursting with love and devotion to this path of wholehearted living, and I want to tell you about it!
But where do I start?
Perhaps I just start here. Now. With these jumbled words.
Perhaps I stop worrying about whether there is enough of a message contained in these paragraphs for it to be worthwhile to publish. Perhaps I let you be the judge of that.
Maybe the answer isn’t to start at the beginning. Maybe the answer is to start now.
Maybe what feels like mashed potatoes to me will translate with a beauty and grace and poise that I am unaware even exists within me.
Or maybe it’ll translate as mashed potatoes.
Either way, ultimately we all seek release, whether it be from a situation or a relationship, from our loud heads or our confused hearts, or from the binding and the whispers within that say we are not enough, for both selfish and selfless reasons.
I seek to help you because I seek to help myself. I seek to share my words with you so that both of us can experience the release, clarity, and knowing that lies within them, and within us.
Similarly, I treat myself with love and care so that I am better equipped to treat you the same. I don’t know how to give something that I don’t already possess.
In seeking release I seek freedom, and joy, and depth, and beauty, and vulnerability, and rawness, and peace. I let go of the old ideas, the small thinking, and replace them with grace and grandeur.
So here is my release. Mashed potatoes, or rare gems — however you choose to consume it — right on your computer screen. Yours for the taking. Yours to do whatever you want with. Because once these words escape through my pen, they no longer belong solely to me.
Let me take this chance to tell you that I love you. Wholeheartedly. I honor your heart, your wisdom, your message, your path, your truth, simply because you are you, because you are me, and because you gave me the opportunity to speak directly to you by clicking on this article.
There is no beginning or end to you. You are beautiful. You are perfect
You are a tiny little miracle floating around in a sea of stupendous awesomeness, and I hope you see the world as full of gems instead of mush.
I’m not the author of this piece. I found this great post on Rebelle Society and it echoes how I feel so deeply it’s as if the author took the words out of my head and heart and laid it out on paper. I just had to post it here and when I contacted Jessica, the author, she agreed to let me do so. Thank you, Jessica. If you connected with this piece please stop by Jessica’s Facebook and Instagram page to get to know her.
Carlana Charles is the visionary and editor-in-chief of FemmePowered. She is a womanist, writer, speaker, story midwife and facilitator of meaningful and engaging conversations. When she is not working in or on FemmePowered, she can be found resting, baking, reading or scribbling furiously in her journal whilst sipping wine or coffee, sometimes both at the same time. She is currently working on her first book and hopes to release it in September 2018.