Standing in your truth

Standing in your truth

Who do people say you are? How do they define you? Who do you know you are? How do you define yourself?

It’s amazing how much we absorb and embrace the labels people put on us. Ugly, stupid, worthless and a slew of words all meant to diminish and rob us of our truth we take upon ourselves, never bothering to question or refute them.

The only authority someone has to define you is the authority you give them by accepting and embracing their labels. You may not be bold or strong enough to say NO! I reject what you’re saying, but internally you can always reject it.

During my time married to an abuser, I was not only subjected to physical abuse but verbal abuse as well. And although I never believed the things he said out of hate and spite, I realized it takes a very resolute person to ward off the negativity thrown at them because when our resolve weakens, we open doors for the negativity to seep in. My remedy for fending off his lies was the writing down of my truth.

I wrote the things I knew to be true of myself and I did a graphic illustration of it. I needed to see it, to repeat it, to get it to sink in, deep in. I made it attractive so that I could use it as a screensaver or desktop and I also printed out and hung it on the wall near my computer. It was my way of fighting back and reaffirming my truth. Each time I sat down at my computer it would stare me in the face. Each time I walked past my workspace on my way to the kitchen or bathroom it was there. I saw it and he saw it too. And interestingly enough, after a while of passing it by, I felt my silent war winning back in that he was no longer attacking me verbally. It was as if he too, was embracing my truth. Funny though, when I took it down and changed to a calendar screen saver, he gradually started with his verbal assaults. But at that time it did not matter. I knew my truth. Those words I started at for months were forever etched in my brain and the consciousness I carried about myself. I embraced my truth, stood in it and found solace in it.

rejecting the labels of others

What is your truth? What are the things about you that you know to be true? Are there any or do you embrace the labels thrown on you by others? Good or bad, YOU need to define yourself. Here’s an exercise for you. Grab a pen and a bit of paper and write the things of yourself you know to be true. Go on, do it. Finish? Write more again. Don’t hold back. Now put it somewhere where you can see it daily. Post it on your bathroom door or your fridge. Make a screensaver out if it if you can.  I want you to carry these words with you. Carry your truth. Carry it on a slip of paper in your purse, carry it in your journal. Carry it until you no longer need the paper because they are forever etched in your heart.

How do you combat the negative words spoken about you? Do share!



  1. October 14, 2016 / 7:33 am

    Love the affirmation cheat sheet! I have very few friends. As for negative people, l pay them no mind 🙂 . I have too much on my mind to worry about them.

  2. October 14, 2016 / 8:55 am

    This is a great exercise for embracing self love and positive self perception. I love this and even more he example you have that once you put them in the atmosphere it not only changed you but others around you and how they treated you. The fight starts within. God bless you! ❤️

  3. October 14, 2016 / 1:11 pm

    I try to avoid any negative energy or voices, especially within my circle. I do understand we may encounter them. If I experience negativity, I try to pray about it and not allow them into my heart.

    • Carlana
      October 16, 2016 / 8:37 am


  4. Carlana
    October 14, 2016 / 5:49 pm

    Thank you for the sweet words, Kenyarae, and God bless you, too!

  5. Antoinette
    October 16, 2016 / 11:34 am

    People will tear you down if you allow it. That’s why it’s so important to be firm in knowing your worth. This is a great post.

    • Carlana
      October 16, 2016 / 1:41 pm

      Thank you, Antoinette.

  6. October 16, 2016 / 12:31 pm

    This is an awesome idea! Great for young kids too as they navigate themselves in social interactions too.

  7. October 16, 2016 / 5:05 pm

    I love your posts! They are so uplifting! I am owning my truth and standing in it.

  8. October 16, 2016 / 7:47 pm

    I love, love, love this visual. You rock, sister! I’m so glad I happened upon your blog in Brown Blog Love today. May blessings abound!

  9. October 16, 2016 / 9:09 pm

    Great post. At 40, I decided to not allow negative people and thoughts invade my life. There is just no place for them. PERIOD!

  10. October 16, 2016 / 10:04 pm

    I love it. I write my affirmations in my planner since I keep her (yes, her) with me all day long and receive the constant reminders. Thank God you have pulled through and did not let that situation break you.

    • Carlana
      October 17, 2016 / 7:24 am

      Thank you!

  11. October 17, 2016 / 7:22 am

    I’m not sure what people say I am. Growing up I was told I was miserable and mean. I knew I was more than that, and now that I’m older, I really believe it.

  12. October 17, 2016 / 4:24 pm

    I love all of these beautiful positive affirmations you definted for yourself. Verbal abuse is real I was almost a victim of it but yes you are your own power and self-esteem and happy you re-programmed yourself so that no one could break you down again!

    • Carlana
      October 17, 2016 / 5:35 pm

      Thank you!

  13. October 18, 2016 / 4:54 pm

    I have learnt to never give that power to anyone. I am who God says I am not what people perceive.

    • Carlana
      October 19, 2016 / 6:40 am


  14. January 17, 2017 / 3:52 pm

    I love this! I used to have affirmations on my mirror and I’m so grateful for this reminder that I need to do this again. I couldn’t careless what people say about me as long as I stay true to myself.

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