Carlana Charles is the visionary and editor-in-chief of FemmePowered. She is a womanist, writer, speaker, story midwife and facilitator of meaningful and engaging conversations. When she is not working in or on FemmePowered, she can be found resting, baking, reading or scribbling furiously in her journal whilst sipping wine or coffee, sometimes both at the same time. She is currently working on her first book and hopes to release it in September 2018.
Ever feel the need to be perfect? I have. A long time ago.
I suppose on may consider it an admirable pursuit but speak to any perfectionist in recovery and they will tell you that if often causes you to be very judgmental, leaves you feeling pretty drained and since we are humans….imperfect. The worst is when you try to impose your perfection ideals and upon others who are happy with things just the way they are and being the way they are. The constant pursuit of perfection can wreak havoc on our psyches and relationships.
In my early 20’s I pursued perfection and wore the badge of being a perfectionist with pride. I was consumed with being a perfectionist in all areas of my life – in writing the prefect blog post (would tweak it to death!), being the perfect service provider, being the perfect, wife, fur mamma, daughter …….just being perfect and always number the best.
You know what I realized along the way? Trying to be perfect and forcing your ideals of perfection upon others is a tiring, frustrating and exhaustive way to live. So, I abandoned pursuing perfection in my life and stopped trying to force it on others. I simply do my best, give my best and and encourage others to do the same. I now pursue excellence. Not only do I feel better but my life, experiences and relationships with other have become so much more rich and rewarding.
I’m not advocating settling or mediocrity but I am encouraging a pursuit of excellence. To me, there is a difference. Check out this post by Claudette Crowley. I think she articulates the difference between perfectionism and excellence really well.