As 2016 winds down, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into the things that I learned or embraced and how they are changing, or have changed me. I thought I’d share some of these with you. I’d love to hear a few of yours, too.
1. The importance of feeding my soul
Anything can thrive once it’s fed, loved and nurtured. We can spend much of our days running through to-do-lists, making plans, going, striving and ultimately neglecting the inner self. This year I purposed to make time to feed the inner me. So far, it has been a revealing and rewarding experience. I’m liking what I see so far. Most days. But the more time I spend feeding my soul with prayer, journal writing and consuming material that builds me up, the more I feel a step closer to the woman I was designed to be.
2. The power of a community that supports you
For a long while, I tried to do everything in my life in my own power and with little or no help from others. I later realized having a strong support network of family and trustworthy people to share my life with is rewarding. Finding and cultivating new relationships with others that will love and support you no matter what is so important to have in life.
3. There is beauty in being authentic
Be ya’self boo! You are not for everyone. Not everyone will like and accept you. That is a fact. And once you come to terms and embrace this, you’ll become much more authentic, embrace all of you (quirks and weird ways too) and you won’t be afraid to let the real you shine through.
4. Prayer more. Worry less
Why worry when you can pray? Worry just triggers fear and fear creates phantoms that make things seem scarier than they actually are. Once you realize that worrying will not change your outcome, you get proactive in coming up with solutions or just turning the situation over to God. You realize you will be okay no matter what.
For a time I was bitter and unforgiving to a few people from my past. Then I realized that holding unforgiveness towards others and to myself for past mistakes was holding me back. It took me a while to be willing to forgive but I was able to work through it and experience freedom. Once you are able to let go and forgive yourself or others, you feel lighter and free.
6. Putting distance between myself and negativity
Sometimes it is hard to get away from negative people if they are your co-workers or your family but when you have the opportunity to choose, then go ahead and do so. Once you begin to learn proper boundaries to set with people you would rather not deal with, life becomes easier as you are active in managing the energies you allow to enter your space.
7. No is a sentence
I have a hard time saying no in the past. I want to say yes to the people I love and make everyone happy because they’re my peeps. And when I do say no, many times I want to justify my no or explain the situation so the other person will feel better about my no. Here’s the thing – no is a complete sentence. You don’t have to justify every reason. Once you are confident in your ‘no’, it becomes easier to make decisions for yourself instead of others.
Your turn now. You can share a comment below.
Carlana Charles is the visionary and editor-in-chief of FemmePowered. She is a womanist, writer, speaker, story midwife and facilitator of meaningful and engaging conversations. When she is not working in or on FemmePowered, she can be found resting, baking, reading or scribbling furiously in her journal whilst sipping wine or coffee, sometimes both at the same time. She is currently working on her first book and hopes to release it in September 2018.