7 things women need to know or be reminded of

It’s 4am in the morning and I’m waiting for pictures for Sisterhood In Motion to upload to Google. It’s a very slow process. The internet has not been playing nice for the past month. As I wait, I think about the event that went almost two weeks ago and how women can’t seem to stop talking about how impactful it has been to them. My heart is full and I feel blessed for taking action on this vision I felt laid on my heart, to create an event and community for women who want to share, learn, empower, inspire and find a safe space in the fellowship of other women.

My mind wanders on this new community that has been birthed from this event and as the visionary, I think of what I could say to each of these women, when we meet again. I don’t have to think very long or hard. In fact, my mind immediately goes to those things that have been on my heart of late; the things I have to remind myself from time to time when life gets in the way and I find myself  faced with challenges and never ending questions from the streams of thought that consistently go through my head.

The words I’m about to share with you, I speak to myself, too. Know that. Never feel because someone has a platform or seemingly speak from a position of authority that they have it all figured out. Au contraire mon ami. I have a theory that they are either a few paces ahead or just a little braver, a bit more vulnerable, not afraid to share their heart and angst with others. So, here are some things I want to tell you/us today or in case you’ve forgotten, I want to remind you that:

You are beautiful – Simply because you are a creation of God and there is beauty in His handiwork. He took time to form and fashion you with detail and attention. He made you a designer’s original and when he was done, He broke the mould. Inside and out, you are a thing of beauty. A work to behold. You’re simply beautiful!

You are valuable – It is true. And your value is not dependent on the clothes you wear, the company you keep, your connections, where you work or the money you have or don’t have in the bank. You are valuable simply because you are you. You are a precious being. There is only one of you and that makes you rare and exquisite. PAUSE: let that sink in just a little bit before moving on. You, my friend, are valuable.

You are loved – By the One who created you and by those people in your life whose world will be altered and hearts broken if you ceased to exist. At times, depending on the season, it may feel like none of those folks exist. Well, that’s simply not true. Even if you truly believe that there isn’t a single person on earth who cares for or loves you, I know there is One in heaven who loves you to the moon and back and cares for you deeply.

You matter – My dear friend, believe me when I say, you matter. Even in the times when the world seems to take a collective dump on you and the times when you question your significance or importance because of what you may be going through, know that you matter. You are not inconsequential or a side note. You matter so much that God felt the need to create you and sent you to live on earth to express His purpose and plan in the world. That’s kind of a big deal. You are important and you matter.

You are enough – Just as you are, in this moment, in the skin you were born in. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Period. Whether you lose those extra pounds you’ve been carrying or not, you are enough. You’re also enough whether you are accepted or rejected by others around you. When you recognize you are enough you won’t need validation or the approval of others and if those around you don’t make you feel enough, you’ll become brave enough to find a new circle who’ll embrace you and your ‘enoughness’. When you recognize you are enough, you won’t need to compromise or fit in to anyone’s idea or perception of what or whom you should be.

You are not your past or your mistakes – Boy, oh boy. I could do an entire workshop on this. So many of us women beat ourselves up about past lifestyles, choices and mistakes and become stuck in the past. It’s time to put the past to rest. Let go, forgive and free yourself to a new future and possibility.  We all have things we are ashamed about and would love to undo. But life does not give us do-overs. There’s an opportunity to learn and become better even from the things of the past that weigh us down. Let those chains go and as you do so, remember that you’re not a bad person; you may have, however, made some bad decisions. You may even be struggling with guilt or possibly carry shame from bad choices. Use the past to inform the way you live now and will live in the future but don’t be defined by it and don’t live in it.

Finally, I want to remind you that you are worthy. When you think of Rolls Royce, you immediately think of one of the world’s most expensive cars (second most after the Porsche, which is worth about US 845K). It does not matter if it is the $480K Rolls Royce Phantom or the $294K Rolls Royce Wraith, when you hear of Rolls Royce, you immediately think of a high worth automobiles, simply because of the manufacturer.

Let’s turn it to you. As a child of the Creator, you already carry a deep, intrinsic value simply because of Who your maker is. And your worth, true worth that is, has nothing to do with your net worth, who deems you worthy, your bank balance or connections, the car you drive or the home and community you live in. You are simply worthy because you are you and because you were made by the Creator. And because you are worthy, you are deserving of all good things – health, happiness, love, peace, security, success and more. Recognize your worth and embrace it.

I’d love to have your feedback! Please add your affirmations in the comments below and let’s see how many we can have on the post!


Almost forgot! Today I’m doing a Google Hangouts with Kimani Parke on domestic violence. I’ll post the replay of the conversation on the blog and social media by Friday. As a survivor, I’m looking forward to our conversation on this oftentimes taboo topic. Kimani herself has experienced intimate partner violence in a same sex relationship so I’m curious to get a better understanding of the dynamics on domestic violence in gay relationships. A human rights activist and current member of the Non-Governmental Organization GrenCHAP, she represented Grenada at the 39th OAS General Assembly held in San Pedro Sula Honduras. She has since written various articles advocating for the rights of LGBT persons in Grenada; she has also been interviewed by local media houses since the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage. Though she currently resides in the United States she frequently visits Grenada and is very active in the LGBT community.



  1. KayNicole
    December 9, 2015 / 9:25 pm

    This post is everything!!! Oh my I felt your heart and your passion. We often need to be reminded and you did it so well. You captured my attention from the first line. Continue to empower and inspire women to be the bestest version of themselves 🙂

    • Carlana
      October 11, 2016 / 3:25 am

      Thank you, Kay Nicole!

  2. October 10, 2016 / 9:26 pm

    AMEN to all of this! I love your post and how you remind us of what is important!

    • Carlana
      October 11, 2016 / 3:25 am

      Thanks Tanya.

  3. October 11, 2016 / 3:04 am

    These are great affirmations! I like the ones-you are not your past mistakes and you are worthy. I feel everyday is a chance for you to start over and do better. And always telling yourself you are somebody worth of love and respect.

    • Carlana
      October 11, 2016 / 3:24 am

      So true, Nadeen. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. October 11, 2016 / 12:20 pm

    Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And Yes. We need to be able to remind of self of these things when we can’t feel it from anyone else. You. Are. Yes, you are. Beautiful.

  5. October 12, 2016 / 8:38 am

    I absolutely love these positive affirmations. They are so needed and we, as women really need to embrace the fact that we are enough…just the way we are. I would love to share your Google Hangout so please e-mail me a link once it’s available. Thanks!

    • Carlana
      October 12, 2016 / 9:45 am

      Yes Christine. They are needed.

  6. October 12, 2016 / 1:59 pm

    Love the encouragement you share! Remembering I am enough has been important to me lately. Being a mom of four and a wife, sometimes I feel like I am not enough. Am I enough for my husband? Am I enough as a homeschool teacher? Am I enough for my teens whose needs are very different from my toddlers. It can be overwhelming, but using the reminders you suggest, are great ways to stay focused and keep my spirits up!

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